is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
soo... how was my night?
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