I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
