is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
