Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
