i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
