I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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