I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
