Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
