Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
