I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
