we have officially lost it.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
