A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You were trust falling into bushes
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
