my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize