those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
