Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
