Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
