I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
