question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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