dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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