my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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