On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize