Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
