sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
