he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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