I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
What a dumb baby whore.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
