Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
