so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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