I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
