There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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