I showed him my bush... on skype.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
