Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
50% drunk capacity currently
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Randomize