Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
