I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
