i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
