I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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