she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
