U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
