Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
