you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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