I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we're chasing vodka with high fives
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
