his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i've created a new STD.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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