if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
