so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
