i think my tv is drunk
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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