I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
