You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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