At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
