Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
