guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
