just survived the first fart of the relationship.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
