The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We had sex on a dog bed..
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
