I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
