Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize