dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
