i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
