OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
