just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
