Is it normal to miss your booty call?
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
