I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
