I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
