she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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