Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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