Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize