we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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