So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize