i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize