i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
