these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
