it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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