Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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