We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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