do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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