dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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