i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
