He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
3pm strippers are depressing
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
