and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
