thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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