another moral hangover. fuck.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
